More Useless But Funny Memories

So yeah, lately I’ve been trying to find this old Maui Time Weekly column I once wrote in which I explain my view that Ray Parker, Jr.’s song “Ghostbusters” was actually a hard-hitting anti-lynching song, but I can’t find it. Such is the case with a lot of what I wrote, sadly… Anyway, during my search, I did find this column I wrote under the name Mick E. Finn, which I used occasionally because my byline was appearing too much in the paper. Anyway, the version online is in pretty poor shape, so I reformatted it and pasted it below. Enjoy!

 

Getting To Know The Maui Time Family

By Mick E. Finn

September 21, 2006

Whenever people find out I work for Maui Time Weekly, they all jump at the chance to ask me questions. What’s it like working there? Is working on the paper fun? How do you guys come up with stories? Can I get a date with Holoholo Girl?

Mostly, people want to know what the staffers here are like. They want to know all about the people behind the news—the hard working, dedicated minions who spend their days putting the paper together. So in the interests of answering some of those queries—and hopefully getting many of you people off my back—each week I’m going to chat with one of our hard working, dedicated minions, as long as space permits and I don’t get fired. This week I’ll start with Andrea Feliciano, who just walked into my office so she gets to go first:

MAUI TIME WEEKLY: Good afternoon, Andrea.

ANDREA FELICIANO: Good afternoon to you.

You know, we’re always happy to see such bright, intelligent people in the office. Just looking at your face I can tell that you’re thrilled at the opportunity to be here, Maui Time Weekly, where we can inspire people each week to better their communities.

Sure, okay.

What’s your background, Andrea?

Well, I was born and raised on Maui, but I moved to the mainland to go to college at UCLA.

Fascinating.

I think so.

What did you study there?

Law. I graduated Summa Cum Laude.

Outstanding! See, I always tell our many, many fans that our people are just brilliant.

Thanks.

Anytime. So what brought you back to Maui?

An airplane.

[Hysterical laughter for 35 seconds] That’s a good one, Andrea! An airplane!

Thanks, but you know it’s not that funny.

Says you! Anyway, seriously, how come you moved here?

Oh, about three years ago my husband got this really great job offer to come out here and do public relations at one of the resorts. We thought about it for about three seconds before we decided to drop everything and get out here as soon as possible.

That’s fantastic. So how long have you been here?

Here?

Yeah, here—Maui Time.

In this office? Oh, about seven minutes, I guess. Is that how long we’ve been talking?

[…]

I’m sorry, you just started working here seven minutes ago?

Work here? I don’t work here. I work next door at the law firm. I just came over to ask if anyone drives a beige 1973 Volkswagen beetle with the back window shot out.

What? I drive a beige 1973 Volkswagen Beetle with the back window shot out.

Oh, then you might want to run out to the parking lot.

How come?

Because it’s on fire.

[…]

Riiiight. Okay. Well, hey Andrea, thanks for chatting with me. It’s been really informative. And folks, stay tuned next week when I interview one of our island’s many brave firefighters. Take care, and keep reading! MTW

Advertisements

One thought on “More Useless But Funny Memories

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s